just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We had to coat check the pizza.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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