Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
