What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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