and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
