I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
