bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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