I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
