I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize