just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
