we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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