she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
