It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
