It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I could fuck to npr.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
