just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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