he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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