Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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