WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I am available for nakedness
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
