I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
