is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
