and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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