Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
