just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
