hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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