My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Ladies don't puke and tell
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
