I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize