oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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