Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
