Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
