p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
