sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
