Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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