I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
