yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
