3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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