Dual....:-)
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
