I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize