By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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