i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
