we have officially lost it.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize