Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize