I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I need to calm my uterus...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
