I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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