Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
