whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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