you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
