she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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