just come out here and I will go home with you...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
