she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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