Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
