erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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