Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
