you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
