just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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