I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
