Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
