Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i was born a porn star she said
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
