...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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