That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
