what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
